All mothers pick and choose their battles. Being a mother is a thankless, draining job sometimes – more so at some ages than others. When do today’s mothers declare war? On what do they declare war?
As you may know, I’m the only non-mother blogger for Strong Mothers. Although I take no children home, I feel like a mother to the 700 children at my middle school. Coach……”I forgot my locker combination, I don’t have my clothes, someone stole my…, he’s being mean to me, she’s looking at me.”
This week at my school we “Declared War” on chewing gum in our gym. Our community has entrusted us with a $32 million dollar school, and we intend to keep it nice and clean. We started the year by nicely asking them to spit their gum out. The only problem is that they seem to be spitting it on our gym floor. This means WAR.
I began to wonder what brings a mother to declare war. As a teacher and a coach, I want to share a few things in the next few blog posts that I see every day in middle school that are worth a mother’s energy.
Responsibility – The sooner children learn to take responsibility for their actions and their belongings, the happier we all will be.
Our kids like to “rig” their lockers. ”Rigging it” means they leave their locker on the last number, so they don’t have to work the combination each time. Essentially, they are being lazy. They can get into their locker quickly, but so can everyone else. They also forget their combination, because they don’t work it daily. They start the year thinking ”Someone stole my……” gets them off the hook. I always tell them, “If it was not in your locker and locked then YOU let them steal it. Your stuff is not my responsibility”. Some listen to our warnings at the beginning of the year about “rigging”, but many have to learn the hard way.
We have several kids at school whose moms we see just about every day if not more than once a day. Recently I asked a girl, who habitually called her mom to bring her forgotten stuff to school, “Is your mom sitting at home just waiting for you to call?” Her response was, “She doesn’t do anything all day anyway.” Oh, how I wished that her precious mother had heard that. If the consequence of being irresponsible isn’t painful, then why will they ever work towards responsibility?
At school we learned to charge push-ups for forgotten locker combinations. We learned quickly with 700 children that if didn’t train them to be responsible, they’d train us to be their crutch.
Mothers, how have you declared “WAR” on making your children responsible?
Comment below or e-mail me at LisaVickery@strongmothers.com
Love,
Lisa
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Last year, my girl forgot something at home. I told her I’d go home and get it and it would be the only time I’d ever do it, the next time she’d get a violation. She knew I was serious and hasn’t forgotten any homework or projects again. Middle school is a time they NEED to learn to be accountable. What are they going to do in high school….. or college?
I am a mother of two, all though one of them is completely dependent on me right now, and I am also a teacher and a coach. I teach elementary children and coach high school girls. I have declared WAR on many things. For instance, the WAR with my 3 year old: When she is finished playing with something she puts it away before she gets something else out. Now, this WAR was a battle, but for now I am victorious! Here is how I know why. Recently, she had a friend over to play. Her friend does not put things away while she plays and I could here Adalyn telling her, ‘No we have to put this up before we play with that!!’ I heard this numerous times and finally when her friend left she said ‘Momma, this is a mess we have to clean it up!!’ I think we have made her Type A :)
The War with my teenage girls at school: Communication! This is an ongoing battle. One that I am not sure I will win but I will for sure keep fighting! I want to communicate with the player, not the parent. Your mom should not have to call or email me to find out what time the game is, what time practice is over, what jersey to wear, etc. I do feel that I am gaining a little ground due to recent technology, texting! My players send thousands (literally) of texts a month I have recently made it into their contact lists!
Keep fighting,
Jess